If you stripped this woman of her fanny pack and took away her ice cream, the expression on her face could be easily mistaken for a tortured rape victim. But shouldn’t Italy bring out the best in tourists and make them smile from all the romance in the air? Apparently not, because the guidebook-toting man also looks pissed as ever. Who knew overdosing on pizza and gelato can cause such misery…

(By Kerry at Passive-Aggressive Notes who we hope looked more cheerful than this nice lady when inhaling her own cone of overpriced gelato)

While Mickey Mouse preaches all the crap about it being what’s on the inside that counts, we’re sure he doesn’t really mean it. At least when it comes to super creepy tourists who can easily scare little impressionable kids. No amount of cutesie Disneyland shit would be able to erase the nightmarish gray-haired mullets or Elvira make-up of the visitors.

(by Piccolina who assumed the visitor was trying to recreate the look of a Victorian-era showgirl)

(By Brent, who was probably wondering how he can score such a beautiful haircut)

Venice Beach is filled with many artificially-enhanced patrons and of course a few tourists who failed to notice they were coming to L.A. — the Plastic Surgery Capital of the World. Next time, we suggest they keep their tramp stamps hidden and drink some cold water to cool off instead.

(By Brent who admits, “There were a lot of weird people/things at Venice Beach, but I don’t see why she thought this was okay.”)

Deciding what to wear on a trip can be tough, especially if you have to coordinate with your significant other. And who knew pink stripes could look so manly?

(spotted by songeruncensored.blogspot.com)

Wearing a t-shirt with your team’s logo while you’re on vacation is one thing, but putting on a sporty-looking Jesus Christ shirt is an entirely different ball game (cheesy pun intended). Um…we wonder where she got it and who was the clever person that came up with that “Strength Training Workout” slogan? Oh well, we always knew the weirdo tourists preferred D.C.

We don’t usually pay attention to the way tourists do their hair, but this young man (spotted looking through the fence at the White House) is a total exception. I guess we just haven’t seen enough red-haired mullets in our days to stay unimpressed.

(spotted by Dear Me,)

Thailand is full of cuddly elephants who just want to wrap their trunks around the slightly trapped tourists. But perhaps next time, she should skip the awkward elephant moment and opt to sit on its back. After all, who needs a pic that seems like it belongs on a psychiatric ward’s bulletin board?

(by Len, who captured his wife at her best)

Visiting the Statue of Liberty can be a touching experience (once you get off the subway and no longer feel like a sardine). But Pink Bunny Fashion Academy says this touristette had “All those flags and she still didn’t take the Liberty Island tour.” Instead, this lovely red-white-and-blue-covered woman just hung out on the dock and was heard telling family “I can see the damn thing from here.” Perhaps she should have opted for a less incriminating outfit.

…ever since we spotted her, we’ve been searching for her super hot sweater (which is probably from Sears circa 1964). And a huge thank you to D.C. — a place that will always have dozens of fanny-pack-wearing tourists for us to feature!

Don’t you think it’s sad when tourists think they are actually Vogue photographers and scrunch themselves into weird poses just to capture their teenage offspring wiggling their hands up to the Washington Monument? We do. This awkward pretzel maneuver is a perfect reason to be stomped on.