Subways are shakey but there’s no reason to look like you’re sliding down the pole stripper style. For most of us, keeping the balance with one hand is enough…unless there’s a huge fanny pack (and camera bag) weighing us down.

(by specialkrb, who adds “she kept calling her husband Papa Bear — he’s the sullen looking one sitting down and sporting a Hawaiian shirt.” 

If you stripped this woman of her fanny pack and took away her ice cream, the expression on her face could be easily mistaken for a tortured rape victim. But shouldn’t Italy bring out the best in tourists and make them smile from all the romance in the air? Apparently not, because the guidebook-toting man also looks pissed as ever. Who knew overdosing on pizza and gelato can cause such misery…

(By Kerry at Passive-Aggressive Notes who we hope looked more cheerful than this nice lady when inhaling her own cone of overpriced gelato)

…ever since we spotted her, we’ve been searching for her super hot sweater (which is probably from Sears circa 1964). And a huge thank you to D.C. — a place that will always have dozens of fanny-pack-wearing tourists for us to feature!

Turning your kid into a fanny-pack carrying machine needs to begin at a young age…By third grade, he should already be posing next to the Albert Einstein statue in your nation’s capitol and carrying his own giant plastic bottle of water. That way, by age 40 he’ll have enough practice to sport the largest fanny pack we’ve ever seen…

(by Ryan, who spotted the duo on his lunch break)

Nestled between a Zara bag and a tiger-print sweater is a speed-shopping tourist. How do we know? Jenn, who snapped this with her phone, says “She was ready to cruise the upscale Mall At Millenia in Orlando…sneakers and all.” Probably while the rest of her fam was running around and experiencing the real reason tourists love to visit Orlando — if this was our mommy, we’d be pissed.

We won’t mention the importance of sunscreen to this visibly sun-damaged tourist. But we do suggest opting for head gear that doesn’t scream female Vietnamese farmer, even if he is a tourist in Mui Ne, Vietnam. And is that a fanny pack his wife is carrying?

(by amasc)

While we admit this particular post has absolutely nothing to do with tourists, our deep adoration for white fluffy dogs made this post absolutely necessary. Plus, we figured if not a tourist, there’s at least a fanny pack involved. So there you have it — a super uncomfortable looking fanny pack specifically for your furry pet*. Just don’t try to stuff your child in it (even if they haven’t stopped crying for days).

(*we cannot promise that a fluffy animal went unharmed in this pic. To double check, feel free to contact the person in charge)

This tourist took almost everything off while traveling in Bahia, Brazil — even his Speedos look like they should be featured in an issue of Butt. Oh well, at least we know he hasn’t lost his hotel keys.

(by Ben & Pinks)

Nowhere are generation gaps more apparent than fashion — especially when you’re on a family cruise to Hawaii. “My mom has a funny sense of the word ‘Matching’,” writes Sparkelle about what her mother wore on their vacation. Really? Until now we thought a hot pink baseball hat and a bright blue fanny pack matched with everything.

We think carrying your wife’s outdated bright pink Longchamp bag through Hanoi, Vietnam looks about as heterosexual as walking Paris Hilton’s new Pomeranian. Seriously. At this point, this tourist could actually use a fanny pack (by the way, this is probably the only time we’ll ever advocate fanny pack usage).